A Tale Of Two Idiots-A Poem By 50 Caliber & Micky Dee
74The Collaboration
This collaboration is between two old Marines who have been too close to the edge and looked in. They can’t deny who they’ve been but they aren’t quite what they were.
You might want to have a Sailor read this to you and tell him to leave out the bad parts.
Micky Dee: I just want to say that it’s been a pleasure working with 50 Caliber on this poem. It's really nice to see that people can leave egos at the door and work together in harmony. If there is anything offensive to anyone I am deeply sorry and it was 50 Caliber that insisted that we put all the lewd stuff in. It was all his idea. I did everything I could to keep this a very nice poem.
50 Caliber: I’d just like to add that everything that Micky Dee said was a lie!
Micky Dee: Was not!
50 Caliber: Was too!
Micky Devotes A Song To 50 Caliber
A Tale Of Two Idiots-A Poem by 50 Caliber and Micky Dee
Mary had a little lamb;
Its fleece was white as snow.
I never cared about the lamb
But I think Mary had a beau.
My heart was full of hope
And thought love would ensue
But everywhere that Mary went,
50 Caliber went there too.
I broke up with Mary,
And Dinah I came to know.
Soon we two were one,
Or at least I sure thought so.
I strolled into Dinah’s kitchen
And here they were toe to toe!
There was 50 Caliber
And he was strumming on her old banjo.
I headed toward Alabama
Without a banjo on my knee.
Met a gal named Susanna
Who said she’d marry me.
Here was 50 Caliber, again,
But she said he was just a friend.
I was riding my bike in the mountains
And climbing around a bend.
She was coming around the mountain
Doing 90 miles an hour.
What I saw made my heart break
And it made my love go sour.
All down my bearded face,
The tears began to trickle.
She and 50 Caliber were
Riding his Harley Motorsickle.
Their hair was flying in the wind.
They were naked as Jaybirds.
And at the speed of loneliness
She shouted out these words:
“I love you Micky Dee but as you can see,
A bicycle is just too slow.
50 Caliber has a bigger bike and gun-
And a whole lot more ammo.”
I was working on the rail-road,
All the live long day.
I’d work my fingers to the bone
For a measly bit of pay.
I ran all the way home at night
To be with my sweet-heart Rose.
I was so in love with Rose
I thought I would propose.
As I was working on the railroad
All day long one day,
I saw a freight train coming
Down the tracks our way.
Up on top of an empty box car
I saw my beautiful Rose.
My heart dropped and stopped
When I saw she had no clothes.
There was something about her
That seemed so out of place.
It was then that I saw 50 Caliber
And she was sitting on his face.
I don’t know women.
I can’t “really pick ‘em” I suppose.
As anyone can plainly see
I’ve now lost my Second Hand Rose!
So I gave up on people.
I spend more time down on my knees.
Besides, who needs friends
When you can have enemas like these.
Back then I was green.
You might say I was just a pigeon.
But 50 Caliber and I have come around
And found us some religion!
I forgave 50 Caliber
That long haired, Jarhead, Hog riding freak.
I found the Lord and decided
That I would turn the other cheek.
I asked God for forgiveness
And I lost all carnal desire.
After I had to hit 50 with a stick
And set his beard on fire.
I stopped running as I knew
There were facts that I’d be facing.
Of course this would be right after
50 Caliber stopped his chasing.
We agreed to be friends,
Be fair, and never tell any lies,
No matter what pretty filly
Could seem pleasing to our eyes.
That was so long ago.
Then was then and now is now.
50 Caliber and I are friends turned gray
With wrinkles on our brow.
He and I gave up on love
And sure nuff watch our Ps & Qs.
We can’t use and downright refuse,
A woman lighting our fuse.
If we see a pretty filly
Sauntering over our way,
Neither one of the two of us
Will have two things to say.
Yep, we’re on the straight and narrow
And really flying right.
But there was one poster girl
We saw, just the other night.
50 Caliber could see too easily
In more than a single glance,
Now his eyes were popping out
As he watched that hind end dance.
And Micky Dee was an eager beaver
And getting ants in his pants.
Hypnotized and stunned
By the dance of the breast implants.
Micky Dee reached really hard
And came up with
a story.
He pushed his eyes back in.
Said he was just taking inventory.
He never saw another woman
That had quite so much glory.
50 Caliber rolled his eyes and said-
That's a pretty strange allegory.
Micky Dee said well 50 Caliber
What would be your excuse?
I saw your horns enlarge
While you were checking out her caboose.
Sure those jeans were painted on
And she was busting out of her seams.
But if you think she would look your way
You’re living in your dreams.
There may not be any women now
That can drive us both insane.
But we still strut like chickens
That won’t come out of the rain.
Though the sky is turning orange
And the sun is starting to set.
It looks like neither 50 Caliber nor Micky Dee
Is really dead-not yet!
50 Caliber Plays A Song For Micky
Micky Dee endears spandex at an early age.
50 Caliber's love for motorcycles begins early.
50 Caliber-The Wild One
One Of 50 Caliber's Bikes
50 Caliber's Helmet
50 Caliber's "Pick-Up Bike"
Micky Dee-After Second Hand Rose
50 Caliber & Micky Spend A Day At The Beach!
50 Caliber-The Later Years
50 Caliber-The Marine
The Fighting Side of Me
- The Fighting Side of Me
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I'd like to make a little "disclaimer". 50 Caliber and I wrote this in fun. It's in Marine Corps fun but fun anyway.
I don't approve of womanizing or some other negatives this may imply. Fact is I have a female repellent that has worked all my life. I'm just not what women want. So-I don't "look" (much) and I don't want (much). I don't want this to take anyone down a path that shouldn't be traveled. We're just a couple of old soldiers getting ready to change our permanent addresses. Have fun with this hub. It's fiction- as for as you know.
The real deal is we're going to practice the GOLDEN RULE!
CommentsLoading...
Great hub, Micky but I'm afraid to click the links.x
They definitely are not for the faint of heart. They are from my bad bad boy days and God heard me play one of them on the comms. system plenty of times before and I am back sliding by posting the links BUT in my defense I have no defense, I still laugh when I hear them and probably always will. I got this problem, I'm human and I sin and I have to admit I do it on purpose a lot of the time. Ever sit down and think about why you sin? I have and I've found that most of the time I know better but still do it! Go figure?
LOLOLOL!! what a pair ! :) :) :)
I wanna quickly say this then go back to the links...hey! u guys are great guys..Micky and 50 caliber, that pick up Bike is cool and i guess meant for heroes.Not wrong right?Gat to figure it out but he is always there where u go...GREAT FRIENDS.
Thank you Micky for a unique poem, thank you for sharing. Godspeed. creativeone59
Ahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahha!
You know--I could see you two together--sooooo funny!
My favorite picture of you Mickydee is after second hand rose left you! AAAAAAAAAAhahhahahah. LMAO! The 50 calibur pickup machine was great too! Ahhhhhhhh this was so good to read! 'That long haired, Jarhead, Hog riding freak.' I am sorry but I am rolling ovah here in NY!
You know what I would love the most--to see both of you meet each other and I could just sit there and listen to the smack going on..that would make me laugh until my jaws and stomach hurt and I would probably pee in my pants. he he he..who knows..God works in mysterious ways but one day I think you two will meet!
I havn't clicked on the links yet--okay Ghost take a deep breath from reading and go laugh some more...Oh my gosh! I am surely going to hell because I know the words to both of these songs! Ahhahahahahhahaha...
I followed the links and I knew both them songs hehehe.. Twistyy and you are very similar as men...and betrayals..he is a great writer and he is also a great person. Your hub made me laugh--and I needed a good laugh tonight doll! ;)
Oh, and Mickydee the pain can go away-I have seen it in Twistyy-not all-but the more he loves and reaches out--the more he is healed! I see amazing difference in him! God is there with him--as well as YOU! I love you Mickydee!
okay, since creativeone failed to give you a spanking .. I'm coming to the hub and sending both of you boys to your room! lol lol Though I didn't open all the links (Thanks for the warning 50 calibar) and I had to skip over some parts... lol lol ... I could see a very gifted and incredible humor between the two of you. AWESOME GUYS!
Too Too funny. I'll be praying for you as you are visiting hard memories. "God, please Heal my MickyDee's sweet heart!" Love Ya! Mekenzie
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? You are going to give yourself a spanking? Geeeesh, this is from a girl who has been standing in the corner since she was three years old--heads up--you NEVER offer to give yourself a spanking Mickydee! Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!
It doesn't matter how bad you have been--you NEVER-EVER OFFER TO PUNISH YOURSELF AND GIVE YOURSELF A SPANKING!!!(there are too many people out there who will willingly punish-so why punish yourself?) Geeeeesh. That pick up bike was hysterical! I wouldn't want to be riding that though! How would someone control it? I will have to ask 50calibur..lol No--I am not holy--and I know the words to both of those songs..I have seen much worse...he he he.
This is amazing, very powerfully written - well done, Micky...
interesting indeed nicely do n e,
beautiful poem, how could you do that--make poems -- you keep on getting awesome, and I like all the images here, hard work fo you again bu the outcome is just awesome, 50 caliber hehe, you made me smile, Thank you! I am back again and I can read hubs, yesterday was a "trip to busy" day for me, Take care, Maita
Brilliant mornings entertainment,love the banter ,photos and the links-shhh!
Thanks to both of you.
Hey Micky Dee I love it,I told my best friend to read this.It brought back some old memories of how we were together exploring the world.Best friends are the best of everything to share life with.Tell all and no nothing.This was alive.....
Thanks!:)
Sharon Smith
Micky and 50C I'm jealous of the fraternity you share! - you guys have had some fun here and it works just fine.
I hear God has a sense of humour, which is probably a good thing in your mutual cases!! LOLOLOL ;o)
John
I'm off to view Dusty's bad boy lyrics, but I won't tell or comment on them.... hehehehe...
WOW! Such a turn out! Mekenzie thanks for no spanking! I know I was bad but God knows about the links and that I sin with them and laugh about it! I can't ask for forgiveness until I stop laughing about them when I hear them. Even tho' I get no points unless I double post it I think me and my Little Brother Mickey will do at least one more as I'm working on it and I will send it to him for his additions and then bam! I'll post it. I'll be smoking a big old blunt before I get into the final phase to open up my head to imagination. HE-HE-HA-HO, TO THE FUNNY FARM I GO.........
John! My other brother! Enjoy I think the first is just a$$ hole for the worst word but the rodeo song is baddddd. Glad you stopped by, we need to get together and do one, it will be fun! Love Ya Bro, Dusty
Enjoyed the poem; you and 50 Caliber did a good job on this one :)
You two would be the life of the party! Your something else.....Enjoyed the hub!
Haha loved it. Now I got to know where any of the pics real. :)
This is genius!!! I think for the first time I ever, I literally read EVERY single word and didn't skip over like I have a bad habit of doing. Simply brilliant!!
Micky D: I'm gonna open up these links at home, I'm at work now. What a wonderful friendship you and 50 share, through thick and thin true brothers under the skin - Whoorah!!!
This is one of the best work from you. I really enjoy this hub. Thank you very much, Micky.
Much more of a 500 caliber poem, it was a blast and a half that any old jarhead can relate to. Full of scuttlebutt and pogey bait, number one mama sans and two brothers-in-arms, but sadly one was mostly in the arms of Mickeys former girlfriends..lol~~~MFB III
Hey I gots a good excuse, 'cuz obamba's gonna illegallize toilet paper and I'm filling a tractor trailer rig with the stuff for selling on the underground market, It's my retirement plan! I'm stocking another with smooth rocks that are rinse and reuse for the green living minded folks. Ha ha ha. I'm done 'cuz this is a crappy topic. Oh, the flushing toilet was invented by a guy I think "Sir Thomas Crapper" no joke and I bet he'd be sad to find his name used this way "I gotta go take a crap" I'm glad I didn't invent it 'cuz taking a dust just don't sound right......
Mickydee I could poke a nail in your tire of your bike--After reading your comment awhile ago...I went back through all the hubs wondering why I don't remember pastor Cantaloupe! GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! he he he.
I read that comment days ago on Mekenzi's hub and I looked through them ALL..looking for Pastor Cantaloupe! You just wait...I have a BIG nail to pop your tire when you come flying by one day!! he he he
Yes, I heard what happened to Pator Tomato--he was crossing the road outside church and a car flew by and hit him-I did hear that someone had yelled "catch up." he he he
Hi, Mickey, That was brilliant! and I did love the links, well I would, cos I'm gonna learn the rodeo song! wayhey!! the first one was pretty tame, but rodeo! I gotta write it down! the poem was great, and you two have a great sense of humour. And how many wives have you had??! ha ha, did we have a hareem did we? you come across as so innocent! yeah right, ha ha and thanks to 50 too, you guys are great, I can feel a double act coming on! cheers nell
No stew--KETCHUP-catch up. hehehehe..I need to go to bed..I am getting sillier.
I really enjoyed your Poetry. Thanks for sharing a creative collaboration.
Just thoroughly enjoy your work. We share the same passion creatively, and being new it was no coincidence I stumbled upon this hub. Thank you for the inspiration and enjoyable lyrics.
Billy
Yo Micky, just was walking by thought I'd say Hey! Happy Easter weekend, any extra chocolate, please drop it in my profile box, I'll do the same with marshmallow bunnies for you.
Later
billY
haha, love it of course! Bad 50 for stealing your gals... seems someone should kick him, that whole forgiveness thing is for ninnies Micky!
I was just thinking the same thing... something like 33 hours? Hubpages should get a "poke" option, then we could tickle him out of hiding.
ok, well let me know!
LOL. Really unusual pair. For me 50 Caliber sound like your stalker in his young age, Micky.
Hotdamn! How did I ever miss this one?! Now I have no respect for me or anyone else but Marines, so I must click on those links. Well now, a young asshole is just an old one waiting in the wing and I love the Rodeo Song! You too make a good team. Got more of this for us? Thanks and the pictures are great, especially that mama on the cycle.
Mickey and 50 Great fun guys. I'm glad you can have good laughs together.Loved the toilet paper and dusty road cracks. Had a good laugh. Great poem full of smiles for me.
Boy i think you two together growing up would have turned the town upside down.
Thanks for link warnings guys, i won't go there but i will read the hub. November 10th
Well this hub has without any doubt
The worst jokes and lies iv,e ever heard
but the pictures tell a story without saying a word
These guys had a good time wherever they traveled in
their warped mind
And it,s most obvious their two-of-a-kind
I bet when one leaves this good earth
The other will mourn and finally admit
They were true brothers separated at birth
Hey Amigos that was one heck of a collaboration with the poetry, great pics and videos. Man you sure both had me falling out of my saddle. Loved the stretch wheels, that would be your own party right there. I wonder how Sturgis would handle that one in their town. I loved it all...kept me laughing fer sure. Rate it UPPPPPP and away.
Woohoo! What a f****g great ride! Loved this tale of two brothers in s*** - whatever! The two of you go ahead and be naughty some more now, and tell us about it after again!
Love and peace
Tony
Haha... nothing will come between buddies faster than a hottie. LOL
ummm... yeah.. motorcycles'll do that too. LOL
thats one sweet old Indian on the beach there....
I laughed reading this poem. You have so many sides. I used to know American military people when I lived in Germany. When some of them spoke every other word was a swear word but it was so natural to them I don't think they always realised they were doing it. But my experience of the average American is that they are good people.
They were air force, maybe marines are worse, I don't know.
I am not easily shocked and I may look at some of those links you say are shocking. They are probably not at all.
By the way, 50 Caliber looks like the stereotypical hill billy. Does he come down the hill hollering and firing his rifle? Hahaha.
But whatever your misspent youth, you seemed to have turned out all right in your bearded old age.
My regards.
You guys did a dang bang up job~ very funny nit pickin's! I enjoyed reading this, the videos were funny, and them links, well, 50, yea they were a tad on the steep side, for sure! All in all this was a fun hub, thanks to you both for getting together on this one and giving us a great show! :D aloha
That was just fun !
That 50 is a real rascal. It's funny how a harmless bunch of words like "she was sitting on his face" can seem so graphic when encountered in a rhyme poem. This was a fun lewd ride. Peace Micky Dee.
What a pair! I had a good laugh reading this, will know where to go next time I need to lighten up!
I keep comin back to this just because I love the links; just thought I'd comment so you'd know I was here. I was here, more times than I can repent for.
You two are sure having a lot of fun with this collaboration. I wouldn't call this a tale of two idiots. Fun loving rascals and good guys...that is more fitting!












































50 Caliber Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago
IF YOU HAVE SENSITIVE EARS DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT CLICK EITHER OF THE FOLLOWING LINKS AS THEY ARE FILLED WITH DIRTY, FOUL DISGUSTING LYRICS!!!! ONE MORE TIME! THESE ARE NOT SAFE FOR WORK ARE NOT SAFE FOR CHILDREN AND ARE ROUGH AND CRUDE, MARINE TOUGH LYRICS DO NOT CLICK THEM IF YOU ARE A WIMP!!!!
A SONG FOR MICK AFTER 2 BEERS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luKmSLXukaw&NR=1
THE SONG ON THE HEADSET AT TAKE OFF WHILE DOING A WEAPONS CHECK: warning filthy language don't click!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5JSUUTO_9I